Some opinions are wrong

I have literally been called every name in the book during my career, usually by other creators.

I am…let’s call it a polarizing figure. I have on multiple occasions been told that people are surprised at how many people dislike me.

I have learned to see the benefit of causing viscerally strong opinions in people, whether negative or positive. At least they know who I am. At least they care enough to hate me.

Those strong negative reactions from some people cause equally strong positive reactions from others. I am not everybody’s cup of tea, but I am some people’s favorite tea, and I am okay with that.

But earlier this month, I got the one complaint that I never thought somebody could level against me. They said that I “take advantage of creators, especially young ones.”

Which is a heck of a thing to say seeing as:

1 – I pretty much don’t work with anyone on long projects. I can count the total number of people who I’ve worked with on projects on two hands and a couple of toes, including artists who I’ve worked with on my own anthology pieces. When I work on anthology pieces with people, they get all the money. I don’t even get paid for my work.

2 – When I edit anthologies people don’t even give me full rights to their story. They grant me non-exclusive rights to use their story and can immediately reprint it if they choose, which is more generous than any other anthology I’ve ever seen.

3 – I give 99% of my information away for free and have for years, not just on my blog and podcast, but also at dozens of conventions around the country, guest blogging, being on other podcasts, masterminds, and…I mean, I don’t think I have to justify the things I do to people. I just ran three free conferences for people to enjoy for free. I have literally spent thousands upon thousands of hours of my own time giving away my best secrets for free.

4 – I don’t publish other books because I don’t think I can do so and be fair to the creator’s work (among other reasons).

5 – I have literally sacrificed moving forward in my career because doing so would have screwed somebody over. At every stage I think about who will benefit and who will be hurt by what I’m doing. It’s part of the process I use to literally examine that in all deals.

6 – I write all my own blog posts, and do almost everything myself unless I think I can pay somebody enough, or I’m involved in a strategic partnership.

7 – The only things I charge for are my courses, my books, and consulting services, which are a tiny fraction of all the information I share. And even then, you can do the hard work of searching out all of the information yourself. However, if you want to save time, then I can help you…for a price.

8 – I pay all my collaborators on time and in the correct amount. I try to pay all invoices 24-hours after receipt, which in a world of net 30, net 60, or worse payment terms, means I pay faster than most.

I mean the list goes on and on. The one thing I thought I was unimpeachable on was that not only do I talk the talk of being about creators, but I also walk the walk.

And yet, there is at least one person who thinks I take advantage of creators, even though…”how?”

I am more legitimately curious about what thing I did to make somebody think that about me, because I am so aggressively and intentionally the opposite.

Being helpful and supportive is the counter to me being wholly unlikeable. I have always said “well, if I’m just aggressively helpful then people will tolerate me.”

It’s literally my only defense maneuver.

I say that to say this.

You should take a measured and calculated approach when you take criticism. I take all criticism in, examine it, and then only keep that which makes me stronger.

A lot of times criticisms are valid. There’s often a lot to examine in them, even though it’s hard.

Sometimes, people are just wrong. Maybe this person heard from a person who heard from somebody who twisted a story, or lied, or had a vendetta.

Or maybe somebody misinterpreted something that happened.

Or maybe something unintentionally happened that swept them up, or swept up one of their friends, and their bitterness what an unfortunate byproduct of something that was, in actuality, innocuous. After all, I am not flawless, though I try to do my best.

But either way, sometimes criticism is wrong, and you can’t prevent people from having wrong opinions. You can’t prevent people from feeling feelings, even if you know with every fiber of your being that they are wrong, or that you have changed.

Those opinions are out there of you, and there is nothing you can do about them. Sometimes, people meet you at a time in your life, develop and opinion, and then think you can never change.

Sometimes, people meet you and you rub them the wrong way, and they think the worst of you in every situation.

Sometimes, people relay information that isn’t true because they don’t like you, and they don’t want somebody else to like you either.

But however it happens, some opinions are just wrong, and you have to be okay with letting those opinions go. Otherwise, they will eat you up inside for no reason.